A message to a few dad's out there...

You know that boy, yep, your son? You get the occasional call from school about him. Ok, not occasional, most weeks you’ll get a call. It’s from the polite Assistant Head of School, or sometimes the Principal. They use terms like “he’s been in compliant” or, “he’s had an incident with another student where he has been violent”. You’re asked to go into school for a chat. Your boy seems to show remorse. He’s sorry. He won’t do it again. He answers all the questions with the right answer.

If the Principal told you the truth, he would tell you that your boy is a thug. He thinks that the rules simply don’t apply to him, he shows no respect to anyone, he swears, is violent, abusive and really, if the Principal could expel him from the school, he would.

But you know all that about your son, don’t you. 

And guess what? This boy who the other kids either avoid, humour, fear or loath, well, the one person he aims to be most like, who he respects more than any one else, that’s you! You're his dad. His hero.

So what are you doing about it? If he’s trying to be like you does that mean you’re a thug? Is he rising to the challenge of being as big a dickhead as you?

Or have you been overtaken in the hero worship? That can happen if you never talk to him and he spends more time in front of Playstation or his latest DVD than he does with you. If he doesn’t even know you then Halo’s going to be a more important aspect of his life than his father. 

Or do you know he’s challenging, difficult, with some issues, but you’re too proud to seek help. I mean, that would be a bit weak wouldn’t it? And when it all gets too much, a decent smack seems to quiet him down for a while.

You choose what it is- you know best.

I’ll tell you what I know...

He is the problem.

You are the solution.